Do you know that divorce indicators show up long before the wedding? It may come as a surprise that researchers have identified two specific indicators of trouble ahead in a marriage. They have also discovered two indicators that predict marital success.
The predictions of either marital bliss or a painful breakup can be made before a couple marries, based on their relationship skills and communication patterns.
These skills, or the lack of them, show up in the relationship while the couple is still dating.
Sensitivity and support were found to foretell a successful marriage. Negativity and sarcasm turned out to predict marital failure.
“The ones [spouses] who stayed happily married were likely to handle conflict constructively,” said research study author Mari L. Clements, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at the Fuller Theological Seminary.
“Even in the midst of a difficult issue in their relationship, they were likely to treat each other with respect,” Clements stated. “They were likely to listen to each other.”
Couples who were headed for divorce showed a distinct pattern of making negative comments about the relationship or the partner.
Clements reported “It wasn’t that the couples who are happy never undermined or insulted their partners. They just did it less.”
According to Clements, “Couples who ended up divorcing viewed each others’ communication more negatively.”
She talks about how even a few hurtful remarks can add up over the years and have a cumulative effect.
Even one nasty remark a day will add up over thirteen years (the length of time the couples were studied).
Clements considers these findings as good news because the lack of skills leading to unhappiness and divorce can be dealt especially here at:
http://yourbizwebsitesreviews.com/SaveMarriage
She states, “The way you handle conflict, the way you communicate with your partner, this website can [help people] change those.”
What Are the Implications for Your Marriage?
Clements’ research shows that couples who show sensitivity and support to each other in their relationship are much more likely to find marital happiness.
Couples with these traits and skills are understanding, sympathetic, encouraging, and positive toward their partners. They are also good listeners who can listen even when they are upset and can find constructive ways to solve problems.
On the other hand, the research showed that couples who have negativity and use sarcasm are much more likely to end up divorcing.
Couples with these traits are resistant, fault finders, disagreeable, critical, and insulting.
They can pass judgment on others but won’t put out the effort to be a part of the solution. They often blame the partner for their unhappiness and side-step taking personal responsibility.
So what can you do if you are married to a spouse who has a negative attitude and has a pattern of making sarcastic remarks? One thing you can do is to show her (or him) this blog and point out that the prognosis for your marriage is not good if things remain the same.
Or write a letter by hand and share your feelings and concerns about the long-term effects of this detrimental behavior on your attitude and happiness and on the marriage.
You can make a copy of this blog and include it with the letter.
On the other hand, if you recognize these traits in yourself as you are reading this, you have been given a golden opportunity to reverse the odds for your marriage.
As Clements stated, the good news is that you can address and start the process of change by visiting this website that we recommended to every marriage in trouble.
http://yourbizwebsitesreviews.com/SaveMarriage
That way, you can work to become more positive, sensitive, and supportive in your interactions with your spouse.
If you take immediate action and make a consistent effort, you can improve your relationship skills and increase the odds that your marriage will survive. Those are two good reasons for taking action now.
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Thursday, November 13, 2008
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